VERMONT VALENTINE

          Along the valley of Vermont along U.S. 4, there's a quaint bed & breakfast inn. One of the employees is named Ellen who does odd jobs around the inn. We find her on the manager's computer surfing the net looking @ her favorite Joey Lawrence webpages. She had printed pictures of her favorite Joey pics.

          "Miss Ellen..." said Mr. Ashland the manager asking, "Where are my financial statements?"

          "Right here Mr. Ashland." handing him the reports.

          "Might I remind you that this computer is for business, not for drooling & surfing the net over that no talent, Joey Lawrence!"

          "Joey's talented!" sighed Ellen, "Wonderful actor, cool singer & a great bod to go with it!"

          "Yeah!" the bellboy quipped, "Some nitwit webmaster from Texas has Joey & his brothers as super heroes driving motorcycles, fighting crime & performing as a rock band! He should seek therapy!"

          "I think his webpage is awesome!" said Ellen, "I love that pic of Joey driving a motorcycle as Super Cool Joe. He could rescue me anytime."

          "Drool drool!" kidded the bellboy.

          "Silence you two!" snapped Mr. Ashland, "We got to get this place decorated for the most romantic time of the year for bed & breakfast inns, Valentine's Day!"

          "Maybe Joey Lawrence will check in!" kidded the bellboy laughing @ her.

          "Stop teasing the employee!" snapped Mr. Ashland, "As for you Ellen, you got to get over your infatuation over him. He'd never come to Vermont. Now if you'll excuse me, I got to attend my nephew William's birthday party."

          So the manager left leaving those two to decorate the inn.

          The bellboy was decorating the kitchen while Ellen decorated the lobby. As she did, she was dancing to "Nothin' My Love Can't Fix" playing on her CD/tape player. The bellboy came in the lobby & started dancing goofy laughing @ Joey's singing.

          "What a heartthrob!" said the bellboy in a feminist voice.

          "Get out! You're fired!" she snapped.

          "Have a heart, it's snowing heavy outside."     "You blew it!" she said, "Guess you'll have to live like Frosty the Snowman."

     So the bellboy left sad & frozen.

          Ellen was straightening some bedrooms up when she heard the telephone ring. So she went down the stairs & answered the phone.

          "Bed & breakfast, hello?"

          "Ellen, this is Mr. Ashland. I'm @ my Aunt Peg's & just saw the weather report. It's going to snow heavily, so never mind decorating for Valentine's & close the inn for a while. I'll see you & the bellboy after the storm calms down."

          So as she took down the decorations, she hears a snowmobile coming towards the inn. Then the stranger enters the inn.

          "I'm sorry, we're closed due to bad weather." she said.

          "I need to warm up & a place to stay. Please?"  

  Then Ellen's shocked when the stranger removed his ski mask to find that he's...

          "Whoa! It's Joey Lawrence! What are you doing here in Vermont?"

          "I just came from Boston headed to Montreal, Quebec in Canada when my car broke down. So I rented a snowmobile to find some lodging. But since you're closed..."

          "No!" said Ellen, "In fact, this was decorated for you! How about taking me on a snowmobile ride? I got to go to the store to get some food."

          "Let me warm up first." said Joey.

          So Ellen went to her private room to dress up. She couldn't believe that Joey Lawrence was staying @ her bed & breakfast.

          Then Joey drove his snowmobile with Ellen hanging on going along the posh Vermont scenery. They reached a nearby town & as Ellen went to the store, Joey stayed on refusing to take off the helmet.

          When they went back to the inn, Ellen was in the kitchen cooking up a storm to prepare a romantic meal for two. It was a dream come true & a wonderful Valentine. While the food was baking, she set up a table with plates, utensils, glasses & candles that she lit. Then she headed to the lobby to get the tape/CD player with a romantic CD to play. She was surprised to find Joey sitting by the fireplace playing the bellboy's acoustic guitar & singing a real cool love song. Ellen sighed over that.

          About an hour later, Ellen brought some chicken-fried steak with mixed vegetables, dinner rolls & some non-alcoholic wine. Then she turned on a tape player & romantic violin music played around the dining room.

          "It would've been more romantic to have a live musician." said Joey, "But with this weather, let it snow."

          Joey & Ellen had eyes on each other while having dinner. Then Ellen went into the kitchen & brought out a strawberry cake with vanilla frosting decorated with Valentine heart candies.

          "How about dessert?" she asked.

          "How about we have it upstairs?" asked Joey.     Ellen calmed down as she went to the desk to get a room for Joey. Then she gave Joey the key to room #8. Ellen went back to her room & changed into a silky nightgown to impress Joey with.

          Then she went to room #8 to find Joey wearing briefs. Joey went over to the tape player & played some smooth jazz music on a CD featuring a jazz guitarist.

          "Wanna make out?" asked Joey, "Don't worry, I got protection."

          So Ellen & Joey started making out in bed as they kissed & made whoopee! Ellen got to live out any girls fantasy.

          "Shut up!" she said to me, "Joey's mine!"     Joey & Ellen had made out for an hour. Then when Joey fell asleep, Ellen had a smile on her face. But suddenly she heard a voice.

          "Are you all right Ellen?"

     It was Mr. Ashland.

          "Whoa!" said the bellboy in his Joey voice, "Hope she's all right after that bump on the head on the floor."

          Ellen then found herself @ the lobby unconscious. She realized that her Joey Lawrence fantasy was only a dream.

          "What happened?" she asked.

          "My dear, you slipped on the foot ladder while hanging decorations for the inn. I'll get the bellboy to get a towel with some ice on it."

          Mr. Ashland had Ellen lie on the sofa while the bellboy fetched a towel & ice to put over her head to recover. Then the bellboy brought her a piece of strawberry cake for her to eat. Then Mr. Ashland comes with a package.           "This came for you. A box of candy!" said Mr. Ashland handing her the box of candy. Ellen opened the envelope up & read,

          "Thanks for the romantic time we had @ the bed & breakfast. Sure enjoyed dessert. Signed JL!"

          Ellen sighed & realized it wasn't a dream after all. But then the bellboy told Mr. Ashland secretly,

          "I don't have the heart to tell her that the candy came from the village idiot, Jughead Lewis & not Joey Lawrence."

          "If you want to keep your job, keep this mum." said Mr. Ashland, "Ellen deserves to have hopes & dreams."

          "Just like me wanting to have a jam session with Matthew Lawrence. Him & I playing guitar & singing together." said the bellboy.

          "You're nuttier than that Texas fan, you both need therapy!" said Mr. Ashland laughing.

          Ellen ate some of her chocolates & thought about her romantic time she had with Joey Lawrence.


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