At the Griffin house in Quahog, Stewie's in his crib ready to go to sleep. But as always, he wants his storytime from Lois. However, Brian the Dog enters his bedroom.

"What do you want, stupid dog?" Stewie asked.

"Lois couldn't make it, so she asked me to read you a story."

"Making out again with fatty fat fat Peter!" quipped Stewie. Then he goes to his shelf & hands Brian the book to read. Brian groans,

"Not Peterlox & The 3 Dogs! A real stupid story where my sister plays my wife & my Scrappy Doo clone's my son."

"I like this story, now READ IT!" demand Stewie.

Brian sighed & started reading,

"In a suburban home, there lived three dogs. The poppa dog, the momma dog & the Scrappy Doo clone."

"No editorial comments!" snapped Stewie.

"And a baby puppy named Matty." said Brian, then turns to me, "Excuse me, this is a Lawrence fanfic website, not a Family Guy website! Where does the Lawrences fit in?"

"Read the rest of the story." I said.

Anyway, Poppa Dog Brian loved drinking martinis while Momma Dog Buttercup drank ginger ale, but Kid Dog Matty loved licking snow cones. When the ice cream truck came by, Matty would grab some change & get a snow cone. Brian looks outside the window.

"Buttercup, we better have that facts of life talk to Matty."

"Why?"

Brian shows her that Matty's talking to a cat!

"Oh Brian, that's Tabby, Mr. Jolly's nephew." said Buttercup, "Matty needs an outside friend." By the ice cream truck, Matty's licking his red apple snow cone while Tabby had an orange-banana creamsickle.

"My Uncle Jolly taught me that I should like my fellow pets. Show them l'amour! L'amour, l'amour, give me more l'amour!"

Just then, Buttercup called her son into the house. Matty goes in & Brian tells him that he should start disliking cats. Buttercup hits Brian over the head.

"Matty, get your collar on, we're going to the mall."

Matty rushes into his bedroom & then comes down with his guitar case.

"Is it time for my guitar lesson?"

Brian groaned, "Not another lesson with Mr. Lawrence."

"I think he's got a romantic singing voice!" sighed Buttercup.

"Grow up!" said Brian as the family left for the mall. About 30 minutes later, a big fat guy is running away from the mob. It's Peterlox!

"Holy crap, if the police find me, I'll be busted. I'll hide @ that house!"

Peterlox goes to the house of the 3 dogs & finds the door locked. But he's lucky to find a spare key under the mat. So he opens the door & enters.

Peterlox heads upstairs to find a bathroom & after doing his business, he goes to a bedroom. The main bedroom was half decorated in a masculine & feminine theme. He saw a big dog bed.

"That bed's too big for me! Who lives here anyway?"

So he goes into the next bedroom & finds toys, posters of guitarists & a junior sized dog bed.

"That kid must not like girls!" quipped Peterlox.

So Peterlox headed downstairs to the kitchen. He saw a snow cone machine & many syrup flavors.

"That's too child like."

Then he saw bottles of ginger ale & other sodas.

"That's too fruity."

Then he started drooling to find a mini bar full of beers & martinis.

"Jackpot! This is just right!"

At the mall, Brian's in a tavern talking to pretty women while sipping martinis. Buttercup was waiting for Matty to get through with his guitar lesson. Then a handsome teacher (who looked like Matthew Lawrence) came out with Matty.

"Your son's doing well. He should sign up for an advanced class." said his teacher.

"Kid dog wanna be like Matt Lawrence." Matty starts singing "Pigeon On Your Car", then his teacher sings along.

"Oh teacher, you got a romantic voice!" sighed Buttercup.

"Are you sure Diana-Michelle's your owner?" quipped the teacher.

The 3 dogs came back home. But they saw that the front door was open. So they sneaked upstairs to their bedrooms to discover that none of the beds have been slept in. So they go down to the kitchen. Matty saw his snow cones melted.

"Someone messed with my snow cone machine!", then he cried like Lucy, "WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"Stop it, Lucy!" quipped Brian.

"Someone messed with my ginger ale!" said Buttercup.

Brian starts crying, "Someone got into my martinis & drank them all up!"

"Now you know how I feel!" said Matty.

The 3 dogs went into the living room to find Peterlox passed out on the sofa! Buttercup rushed over to the phone to call the police. Peter woke up & was drunk as a skunk. "Are you the 3 bears?" he asked, "Wow! That big dog & that baby puppy reminds me of Scooby Doo & Scrappy Doo! HICCUP!" The police arrived & Peterlox was arrested & charged with breaking & enetring.

In Stewie's bedroom, we find Brian sleeping while Stewie read the book.

"And so Peterlox was sent directly to jail! Did not passed GO & did not collect $200!"

Stewie sees Brian sleeping.

"I guess this story bored that stupid dog good!"

Stewie gets under the covers & goes to sleep.