JR & TWA's Christmas 2

In the offices of Pacific Records, we find Matt
Roman in his office surfing the web.  His secretary
tells him over the intercom that Mr. Brian has an
appointment with him.  Matt was surprised that it was
Liz & Scott's dog, Brian.
     "What do you want?" he asked sighing when he
entered, "If it's about doing the Christmas show on
HTV, forget it!  Phoebe's back to being solo & I'm
just like Zeppo Marx, gave up performing & becoming an
     "Please listen to me Matt!" said Brian
dramatically while begging like a dog, "Andy's doing
the show, why no you.  We could do a duet, do another
carol other than The 12 Days of Christmas.  Remember
the time The Lawrence Brothers had a Christmas tv
special on ABC & Matt was denied singing?"
     "That's a fanfic, Brian!" explained Matt, "Larry
cries like Lucy, mixes It's A Wonderful Life & Scrooge
together.  My favorite part of the story was the
Treasure Chest/We Hate Men! Hour game show parody. 
Got crazier & crazier."
     "Do it for me & your fans." exclaimed Brian,
"We'll make somebody's Christmas."
     "The White Angels Christmas shows are more like
The Lawrence Welk Show of the new millennium." quipped
Matt, "I got an image to protect."
     "At least fans think they're wunnerful,
wunnerful, wunnerful." said Brian, "Let's quit these
outdated jokes & we can work together doing a number."
     The scene now shifts to Malibu Beach, California
where we find Eric & Cody (in Guts swim briefs) on
surfboards, riding the waves.  When they reached
shore, a muscle dude wearing shades came over to them.
     "You dudes learn fast!"
     "Thanks, Shades!" said Eric, "Just think, with
our performance, girls living in 30 degree weather
will turn into 100 degrees!"
     "Thanks for teaching us to surf." said Cody,
"Anything we can do for you, name it?"
     Eric & Cody started flexing their muscles putting
on a bodybuilder show with Shades playing snare drum,
mostly hip hop beats & drum rolls.
     "Big finish, dudes!" said Shades as he went to
the tympani & played a long hard drum roll.  Cody
kneeled down & grabbed Eric's legs.  Then he lifted
Eric up & stood with Eric on his shoulders as Eric
flexed.  Then Shades stopped as Cody kneeled down &
Eric got off him.
     "Awesome dudes!" said Shades.
     "You're not a bad drummer yourself." said Eric. 
Frank spotted his drummers.
     "I can't believe you're going to make a mockery
of our Christmas special with that stupid song you
wrote." said Frank.
     "You said it yourself it was a cool song." said
Cody, "Eric thought it be a great idea if we did this
@ the beach."
     "A novelty tune for a music video." said Frank,
"Finish up your project."
     Frank left as they started working on the music
video which we'll reveal later in the story.
     At the HTV studios, we find TWA taping their
special.  The show opens with Cody playing a tympani
drumroll, then the band joins in playing "O Come All
Ye Faithful (Adeste Fideles)" as an orchestra (Fred on
chimes, Joe playing softly on his electric guitar &
Eric playing the drums with brushes).  After the song,
Frank talked to the camera.
     "Welcome to our Christmas show.  Last year, we
had a local Christmas show in Philadelphia that
Channel 44 aired.  Now a year later, Channel 44's
airing our special as an HTV affiliate.  We got cool
songs & surprises to make your yuletide great, so take
a break from wrapping gifts.  We'll be back after this
     After commercial, the band did a rap Christmas
number that had Eric & Cody wearing their caps
backwards & shades as they played the drums.  Then
Jason & David started rapping together as then played
their bass guitar & keys.  After the song, David went
over to the organ & played "O Little Town of
Bethlehem".  David then got a surprise as manager Ray
Walters entered with his brown sunburst electric
guitar  he played on "35410".
     Ray said, "Even though David & I lived in
different music worlds on 35410 & never played
together on the show, set your vcrs!  For the first
time, David & I are gonna perform together."
     Ray & David played their instruments & sang
"Winter Wonderland", then David played an organ solo
followed by Ray's guitar solo.
     After commercial, Ben & Fred had their turn. 
Fred plays a chimes solo.  Then he plays backup as Ben
plays rhythm vibes & sings "All Alone For Christmas"
with a vibes solo near the end of the tune.  Then Ben
goes over to the chimes & plays "What Child Is This?",
then Fred joins in playing in a Tijuana beat on the
marimba, chord rolling & singing the tune, followed by
a marimba solo.  Then the chimes are ditched as Ben &
Fred played & sang "Silver Bells".
     Now the moment you've been waiting for!  The
video opens with Eric & Cody (in Guts) surfing on
their surfboards.  When they reached shore, they drop
their boards, headed to the stage as Cody sat behind a
set of drums & Eric stood behind the tympanis.  Cody
plays a beach drum beat as Eric plays a tympani
fanfare.  Then taped music that Joe, Bart & Jason
provided, played as they started singing the song...
     ERIC:  Christmas weather does snow & freeze,
            But @ the beach, it's only 80 degrees.
     CODY:  Santa uses his magical sleigh,
            but in warm & hot climate, he should
            travel this way.
     BOTH:  Grab your surfboard & go for the ride,
            Deliver the presents while you surf @
            high tide.
            Surfin Santa's gonna hang ten,
            For real cool dudes like Stacy & Ken.
     Cody plays a drum solo as Eric plays tympani. 
Then when Eric played a solo, Cody got up from the
drums, grabbed some mallets & played tympani.  Eric
stopped & went over to the drums & played a drum solo.
 Then they sang the song again.  After the song, Santa
arrives in a wetsuit & gives them fake presents.
     After commercial, Bart was up next.
     "Just recently, I adopted a child just like Frank
did.  Meet my teenage son, Homer."
     The band did a swing version of "White Christmas"
with Bart on tenor sax & Homer on guitar.  First, Bart
sang half the song then Homer did the other half. 
Then Bart plays a sax solo with Homer strumming. 
Next, as Homer plays his guitar solo, Bart switches
instruments, then Bart plays a guitar solo.  Then
Homer & Bart put a finish on their guitars.
     Next up, Frank & Victoria were cuddling along the
fireplace watching the fake snow fall.  Then they took
turns singing a slow version of "Let It Snow, Let It
Snow, Let It Snow" with Frank playing a muted trumpet
solo in the middle of the song.
     Next up, Joe played his electric guitar & sang
"Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" with guest Andy Roman
playing the drums.  After singing, Joe played a guitar
solo followed by Andy's drum solo.  After the song,
Joe announced,
     "I like to introduce my children performing for
the 1st time.  Meet my children, Liz Roman & on
guitar, Scott Roman!"
     As Joe & Andy played back up, Liz & Scott took
turns singing "Jingle Bell Rock".  Scott got to play
his first guitar solo ever.
     After commercial, we find a bar setting as we
spot Brian drinking a martini & Matt as a lounge
singer playing his electric guitar.  Brian comes over
to Matt asking,
     "How about doing a Christmas song?"
     "Anything but The 12 Days of Christmas." says
Matt, "Larry & David Fagin wore me out doing that song
in past fanfics.  I wanna do something else."
     "How about doing Silent Night in an angel
costume?" asked Brian as Matt got mad.  Then Brian got
a $50 bill & placed it in his guitar case, then
whispered an idea.
     Matt played beautiful guitar music as he & Brian
sang, "O Holy Night".  Matt had the romantic singing
voice & Brian had his tenor voice.
     When Diana-Michele Valverde saw that part of the
Christmas special on tv, she screamed,
     "Ahhhhhhhhh!  Matt's such a sweetie, he's got a
romantic singing voice!  Why did he team up with a dog
     After the song, they spotted me playing card
games @ the bar.  Matt & Brian insisted that I'd do
"The 12 Days of Christmas" myself!  So I played Matt's
guitar & sang it myself.
     When I was through, confetti suddenly came down &
I suddenly heard "The Price Is Right" theme with that
famous whoop-Whoop-WHOOOOOOOOOOOP!
     Then Brian started acting crazy, doing his Curly,
     "Woo woo woo woo woo!  Moe, Larry, the Cheese! 
Moe, Larry, the Cheese!"
     "Great!" I groaned, "I'm getting a taste of my
own medicine!"
     Matt handed me $10,000 & said in a game show host
tone, "You win, Larry!  And you also win this trip to
     Italy theme music was heard as Brian announced,
     "You'll be going on a two day visit to ITALY,
TEXAS!  Located between Hillsboro-Dallas along I-35E,
where the main strip is U.S. 77.  Enjoy the all you
can eat pizza buffet & Luigi's Diner!  Retain value of
this cheap trip, $248."
     Now back to the seriousness.  The band finished
the show doing some jazzed up Christmas tunes.  Then
they did the Hallaluijah Chorus with Eric & Cody
playing tympani together.
     The story now shifts to the Roman house on
Christmas Eve night.  Brian was in the living room
sleeping.  He was awaken when he heard someone coming
down the chimney.  Brian saw Santa Claus.
     "Why did you wake me up from my long winter's
nap?" asked Brian.
     "It's time for you to go back to Rhode Island,
Family Guy's back in production." explained Santa, "I
know you'll miss the Romans."
     "I didn't mind being Joey Lawrence's pet dog."
quipped Brian, "But Scott will be heartbroken to see
me leave."
     "I got a solution to that." said Santa.
     He got to his pack & got out a box with holes in
it.  Brian opened the box & found a baby puppy dog
that looked exactly like him when he was a puppy.  He
also wore a diaper.
     Baby puppy got out of the box & started running
around the Christmas tree.  Then he leaped up to Brian
& gave him a hug.
     "I love you."
     "Get off me!" snapped Brian, then baby puppy
started crying.  Santa got a dog biscuit for him to
eat not to disturb the humans.
     "You must be a runt." said Brian.  Then he took
the dog biscuit out of his mouth saying.
     "Baby puppy's like Brian except I'm polite,
sensative & loving.  Baby puppy wants a martini!"
     "Cute." quips Brian, "Not until you're three dog
years old."
     Brian told the baby puppy about the family while
Santa left a note & placed it in Scott's stocking. 
Baby puppy gave Brian a hug & went back in the box
sleeping.  Then Brian & Santa left the house.
     Christmas morning, the Romans are in the living
room opening their gifts.  Lou got an easel & art
supplies, Joe got Danny Brown's music & football
video, Liz got a doll house & Scott got a remote
controlled Super Cool 4000 with all three Super Cool
Brothers action figures.  Then Scott opened that box
to find a baby puppy dog that looked like Brian.
     "Brian!  You got a nephew!" he yelled, but Brian
didn't respond.  Liz showed Scott that there's a note
in his stocking along with some candy.  Scott read the
note that said,
     "Dear Romans; thanks for the temporary job of
being part of this family.  I'm back @ Rhode Island
doing more Family Guy shows.  Hope this baby clone
will win your heart, Scott.  I love you, Merry
Christmas.  Brian."
     The note ended with a paw print.  Scott went
upstairs to his bedroom & cried looking @ photos of
Brian.  One pic had Brian cover his ears with Joe
playing guitar, another howling when Scott played &
sang, another when he dressed as a girl to play in
Liz's tea party.
     Lou brought the baby puppy into Scott's bedroom. 
Placed him on the bed & started licking his face
     "Please give me a chance to fit in!  I'll be your
best friend, please give me a name?"
     Scott looked @ his Matt Roman poster.
     "I'll name you Matty." said Scott as Matty licked
his face with approval.