BART SMITH IN SHOWTIME AT MOTOWN

          After Philadelphia's Super Bowl win, Ray Walters decided to re-release Danny Brown's local CD from the local label to Pacific Records. Then he signed Danny to a recording contract that allowed him to continue playing football, but also have his music & tour.

          Danny even produced his own music video. In one scene, Danny's speeding along driving a ninja motorcycle. Then two motorcycle cops (Bart & Joe) pull Danny over.

          At the rehearsal studio, we find Bart & Joe messing on their electric guitars. Bart became a better lead guitarist. Ray had entered the studio & asked Bart to come to his office. Bart sat down & talked with Ray.

          "Bart, I got an e-mail from some tv show called Showtime @ Motown."

          "That's done in Detroit." pointed Bart, "One of the coolest black shows on tv."

          "Anyway," explained Ray, "They want Danny Brown to appear on the show. But they also wanted Bart Smith. So I told them Bart's part of a band."

          "Maybe I want to do the show." said Bart, "I have lots of fans that like me. Some dislike me because I'm the only black member of the band. Maybe it's time I do my own solo project."

          "You do the show, you leave the band." threatened Ray, "And I'll hire a white sax player who doesn't play the guitar."

          Bart was pretty mad @ Ray, he stormed off he studio, drove off on his motorcycle home.

          At home, he told his family that he'll be appearing on Showtime @ Motown. Of course, there were mixed reactions.

          "Cool!" said Homer, "Dad's gonna meet The Motown 7, a black clone of TWA. They're the house band."

          The Motown 7 were black clones of the band except they didn't have a girl member, had a white person playing tenor sax & they would only get to perform solo once a month (singing or instrumental). The band consisted of trumpet, sax, organ, bass guitar, guitar, drums & percussion (the percussionist played tambourine, congas, vibes & tympani).

          "Bart, I don't want you being surrounded by The Jiggety Girls! Those female dancers always strut their bodies on tv & entice all the male guests." complained Lashandra, "You remember you're a married man with kids."

          "Lashandra," reasoned Bart, "If I can get through doing a summer tour wearing Guts 1/2 the tour, I can get through my appearance on Showtime @ Motown."

          Days later, Bart & Danny arrived @ Detroit, Michigan via private jet Pacific Records provided. Then they took a limo over to the Tito Jackson Theatre where the show was taped. Along the way, they passed a highway sign that read TO MOTOWN. And another sign that read TO LARRYTOWN & SHEMPTOWN!

          Bart & Danny got to rehearse their numbers for the weekly series with the band. During Bart's practice, he got to meet the clones.

          "Hey sax dude." said the only white member, then he played a Bart solo, "I'm Phillip. Don't slap us with a lawsuit, I don't know how to play the guitar. You wanna trade bands?"

          "Cute." said Bart.

          "There's only one other difference." said the trumpet playing leader, "Our official swimwear's Safe Trunks! My boys don't have any guts @ all!"

          After rehearsal, Bart was taken to make-up & wardrobe. Bart wasn't too thrilled that he had to wear leather pants, a vest with no shirt & a leather cap he wore backwards. The show wanted to attract a female audience.

          That night, the show was being taped in front of a studio audience. Bart was pretty nervous waiting in the green room.

          A wise-cracking comic hosted the show that week. The show opened as he said,

          "Welcome to Showtime @ Motown! Tonight we got some hot musical acts, rappers, The Jiggety Girls (male fans howl) & my comedy stand-up. First up, he's Philadelphia's football hero who's hobby is music. Give it up for the Super Bowl MVP, Danny Brown!"

          Fans cheered, then Danny played his electric guitar with the band. Danny played a lengthy guitar solo & then he started singing a little while he strummed rhythm. The fans cheered after Danny performed. As he walked off, the comic kidded,

          "A dead ringer for Deion Sanders!"

          40 minutes later after the Jiggety Girls did their routine dance number, the comic said,

          "Next up, he's The White Angels' hottie & I don't mean Joe Roman! Give it up for the band's sax man/guitarist, Bart Smith!"

          Fans screamed over Bart's clothing when he entered with his guitar. When it died down, he said,

          "This is for you Lashandra."

          Bart played a romantic guitar solo unaccompanied. Then Bart played rhythm as the band joined in. Bart then sang his song he sings in TWA. Then he played another guitar solo. As he did, a Jiggety Girl came on stage with his sax & handed it to Bart. Bart played a tenor sax solo with the girl watching. When he was through, he handed the sax back to her & resumed playing the guitar & singing. The fans went wild over Bart's performance. Then the comic quipped,

          "Looks like Bart abolished his slavery with the band & is free @ last!"

          The audience started booing @ the comic! But then they were shocked when Bart charged to the stage & beat the crap out of him! The audience chanted fight, but Danny came out, grabbed Bart & restrained him from getting into more trouble. Then Bart told the audience,

          "This is Showtime @ Motown, not Larry Stinger!"     The audience was stunned & quiet. The comic was taken to first aid & left the stage threaten to sue Bart for humiliating him on tv. He only meant that statement as a joke, but the audience didn't find it funny @ all. When Bart calmed down, he told the audience,

          "I may be the only black member of The White Angels, but the band doesn't treat me differently! I respect Joe Roman's guitar talents, I choose to play rhythm! But Joe encourages me to play lead guitar in the name of equality! This appearance was a mistake, Ray Walters told me if I was on the show, I'm no longer with the band. Go ahead Ray, kick me off the band! I did like appearing on the show. We'll be back after this commercial."

          Bart walked off the stage grabbing his tenor sax & guitar case. Danny was proud for sticking up for himself.

          When Bart was on the jet, he dreamed that the family had to move back to the ghetto because Ray Walters fired Bart after the Motown appearance. Homer's webpage was shut down as well.

          The jet arrived in Philadelphia where reporters were waiting to ask questions. Bart didn't feel like asking any questions from the media.

          When Bart arrived home, he found that the door was locked.

          "Bart over here!" called Lashandra from Joe's house.

          Bart rushed over to Joe's house & found his family, thinking they'd been kicked out by Ray Walters. He found Liz & Jean playing with dolls while Scott watched Homer playing his electric guitar & singing while Matty danced.

          "Baby puppy like soul music!" said Matty, "There, I got my one line in, satisfied?"

          "Family, let's go back to our house." ordered Bart.

          "Honey we can't." reasoned Lashandra.

          "Ray Walters is not going to stop us from living in that house." angered Bart, "Sorry I started fighting on tv, but the comic deserved it. I don't take no (CUCKOO) criticism from anybody because of the color of my skin! Let's go home, NOW!"

          "Bart!" yelled Lashandra, "The house is being sprayed for termites!"

          Bart understood.

          "The Romans offered to have us stay a couple of nights." she explained.

          Bart hugged his wife making up. The doorbell rang as Joe went to answer it. It was Ray Walters. Ray entered & told Bart,

          "First off, I want to apologize for threatening you for ever being on that show. I heard about what happened in the telecast & you had every right to beat up that comic. You're welcome back in the band."

          "Now they'll give me a subpoena ordering me to go to court. This will ruin the band. The only witness I'll have is Danny Brown."

          Months later, Bart had to go on trial for what he did on the tv show. The comic gave his side of the testimony & then Bart took the stand explaining what happened. Even Danny Brown got called to the stand as Bart's witness. The parties both rested & Judge Elroy announced his verdict,

          "I may be a white judge & never a regular Showtime @ Motown viewer, but what I don't like is rudeness on tv whether it's in a sitcom, drama, talk show or any show. Just because a black guy plays in an all-white band doesn't mean they have to treat him different. Take it from Elvis Presley, don't be cruel. My verdict is that Bart will pay all hospital bills the comic had to stay @ and that the comic will serve 200 hours community service. Case dismissed!" (Bangs gavel.)


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