The band had the longest motorcycle drive of the
tour, 900 miles along I-10 West. Scott got to ride
with Joe & Ranny got to ride with Ralph.
Unfortunately, the tour bus Ray Walters drove,
broke town near Fort Stockton, Texas. So they had to
spend a day & night @ a motel @ that city while the
bus was being fixed.
"Ahh man," groaned Frank, "Stuck in the middle of
nowhere. What's so great about Fort Stockton?"
"I'll tell you." said an old man, "In 1983, the
last part of I-10 in Texas was completed, right here
in Fort Stockton. The 880 mile road was finally
finished from New Mexico-Louisiana."
"Larry & his geography trivia." quipped Joe.
When the bus was fixed, the band continued the
Meanwhile in Phoenix, Arizona, there's a cute
restaurant called Tommy's Diner, well known for his
secret spaghetti sauce. We find a waitress in the
ladies room sighing over pictures of Joe Roman.
"Cindy!" yelled Tommy, knocking @ the door, "We
got customers coming in soon. Put those Joe Roman
pics where they belong, in the furnace!"
"Kiss my oatmeal!" she quipped. Then she got out
of the ladies room. Cindy looked like Lou! (Liz
Vassey in two roles!).
Cindy showed the other waitresses, Belle & Vera,
pics of Joe she printed off the internet. She had
concert pics of Joe playing the guitar & singing
either in his tuxedo or in his Guts Swimwear, pics
driving his motorcycle & a sexy pic of him on his bike
with guitar posing for a music magazine in an article
entitled; "Joe Roman; The White Angels' Rebel
"Isn't Joe Roman a hunk!" sighed Cindy, "Fine
voice, super guitarist, cool body. There's nothing
his love can't fix for me baby!"
"You are obsessed with him." said Belle.
"But Joe's married with kids." explained Vera.
"So," quipped Cindy, "I got a ticket to their
concert! And I'm gonna try to meet Joe @ The Arizona
Hotel. Like my Aunt Polly, Cindy Q. Castlebury always
gets her man!"
"You're a waitress, not a Canadian Mountie,
Dudley Do Right!" snapped Tommy.
"I like Mr. Peabody better." said Vera
"Shove it, dingy!" snapped Tommy, "Security will
be tight. $200 says you won't meet Joe."
"You're on!" says Cindy, "Tomorrow's my day off."
"Easy money." told Tommy to Vera & Belle.
The next morning @ Tommy's, who should show up
for breakfast but The White Angels, along with Matt &
Phoebe Dee. The waitresses were delighted they
Vera came to the Romans table. She was surprised
to see Cindy Q.
"Tommy, pay up!" she said, "Joe & Cindy Q.'s
"Cindy Q.?" asked Lou, "I'm his wife, Lou."
"You dingy!" said Tommy cooking.
That afternoon, the band arrived @ The Arizona
Hotel. Each member had a suite for their families.
Later that day, Joe's swimming in the indoor
pool. Lou had the kids & asked Joe if he wanted to go
to the waterpark. Joe declined because he might get
mobbed by fans. So she went with the kids as Joe
Twenty minutes later, Cindy Q. (in the same
summer outfit Lou has on) went to try to meet Joe to
collect her bet. Security grabbed her.
"Where do you think you're going?" asked a
security guard, then realized who she was, "I'm sorry
Mrs. Roman. Back so soon, where are the kids?"
Cindy thought quickly, "Out with Frank & Vicki."
Security let her through. So she went over to
the pool & saw Joe swam. She restrained from
screaming when he got up wearing Guts Swim Briefs!
"What a hunk!" she thought.
Joe toweled himself off & then bumped into Cindy.
"Hey Lou, where are the kids?"
"Out with Frank & Vicki." she said, "I thought we
could be alone together, make love, have a 3rd baby."
"No 3rd child." said Joe, "But let's make love."
In the hotel suite, Joe was singing in the shower
washing off the chlorine. Cindy got to live out any
woman's fantasy when she stepped in the shower & saw
"What an incredible body!" she thought.
"Lou, ever since you saw Homer & Marge in the
shower together doesn't mean we have to as well." said
"Shut up & kiss." said Cindy as they kissed in
In their bedroom, Joe was wearing briefs as he
was getting dressed.
"Joe," she asked, "Are you ready to make love?"
"Let me put on some music."
Joe went over to the radio & was about to turn on
some music until Cindy grabbed his hand from the dial
"Make your own music, play the guitar."
"Play first, make out later."
Joe sighed as he grabbed his electric guitar,
turned on his small amp he uses for practice on, sat
on the side of the bed. Cindy placed a cowboy hat on
"What's with the cowboy hat?" asked Joe.
"Play, pardner." said Cindy with a Western
So Joe played some country & western on his
guitar, playing rhythm & lead as Cindy was delighted.
Then Joe took off the cowboy hat & played a guitar
solo ballad. As he played, Cindy placed her hands &
felt all over Joe's body. Joe stopped & removed her
"Music's over, Lou."
Joe placed the guitar on the stand & he started
making out with Cindy.
Hours later, Joe was tired as Cindy sighed,
"Joe, have you ever wondered that you might have
a double in your life?"
Just then, Lou entered the room & caught them in
bed! She covered Liz & Scott's eyes as Cindy streaked
into the bathroom. She had them stay in Frank's
"You monster!" yelled Lou, "You didn't want to be
a part of the family outing so you can make out with a
"But Lou," Joe sighed putting on his robe,
"Shut up!" she snapped, "Once the Houston
concert's done, were getting a divorce! I'm having
custody over Liz & Scott!"
Cindy came out of the bathroom & when they met,
"You're the waitress from Tommy's Diner!" snapped
Lou, "Vera thought I was you!"
"That's right, Cindy Q. Castlebury always gets
The two ladies started fighting each other.
Cindy grabbed a $5,000 vase & broke it! The fight
continued as the desk clerk & security guards arrived
@ the scene.
"Oh no!" exclaimed the Desk Clerk, "Florence
Henderson's favorite vase! She always said not to
have a brawl in the hotel room!"
Lou showed them the concert ID she had on her,
then they escorted Cindy Q out of the hotel & off to
jail. Lou was still pretty mad @ Joe, she threw him
out & ended up sleeping in Matt's suite on the sofa.
That night, Joe had a nightmare. He was on the
sleazy talk show, Larry Stinger!
(Audience cheers & chants Larry!)
ANNOUNCER: It's the hot & sleazy talk show where the
guests feel the sting of Larry Stinger!
(Larry comes out)
LARRY: Today's topic, Double Trouble. Meet Joe
guitarist, lead singer & star of The White
(Females in the audience scream)
LARRY: Why are you here?
JOE: To clear up something with my wife.
JOE: While staying in Phoenix, I was deceived by an
obsessed female fan. She jumped in the shower
with me, felt my body when I played the guitar
for her & made out.
LARRY: Hold up, she lived out any woman's fantasy!
JOE: All along, I thought it was my wife. But it was
a sexy lady named Cindy Q. Castlebury.
LARRY: Bring her out!
(Fans boo @ Cindy as she kissed Joe passionately.
Then Joe pushed her away as bodyguard Duke grabbed
Cindy & made her sit down. Audience chants Larry!)
LARRY: So, you sneaked in their hotel & got to make
out with Joe Roman!
CINDY: Cindy Q. Castlebury always gets her man!
CINDY: Shut up, audience! Larry, I'm an obsessed Joe
Roman fan! He's got a hot body, looks cool
driving a motorcycle, a super guitarist & my
heart beats faster when he sings! You should
dump Lou & the kids, marry me!
JOE: I don't want you! I may be the hottest
but I love my wife & my kids. Lou treats me as
a person, not as a crazed fan. I got a family!
LARRY: Let's bring out Lou!
(Lou enters & the audience is shocked because they
looked exactly alike. Then they started fighting as
the audience chanted Larry, Duke & the bodyguards
broke it up.)
LOU: You sexpot! How could you fool my husband like
that? Joe, you either choose me & the kids or
this sleaze from Arizona!
(Joe goes to Lou & kisses her, but Cindy breaks it up
with the audience chanting Larry! Then Duke escorts
Cindy off the show screaming...)
CINDY: Kiss my oatmeal!
LARRY: Let's take a commercial!
(Audience cheers & chants Larry).
Just then, Joe was awaken by Lou.
"You want me to sign the divorce papers?" he
"Joe, I'm sorry for yelling @ you." said Lou, "I
couldn't believe there's a girl who looked exactly
like me. So I guess I can't blame you after all. Can
you forgive me?"
Joe got up & kissed Lou. Then he told her his
nightmare that he was on Larry Stinger!
The next night @ Stun Devlin Stadium, fans
screamed over Matt & Phoebe Dee.
Backstage, Vera had Cindy's ticket (+ $200 from
Tommy) because Cindy was in jail.
The band came out not only wearing their white
tuxedoes, but also had boots & cowboy hats.
"Howdy, Phoenix!" said Frank.
In the middle of the concert, Eric carried his
snare drum & placed it in front of his set of drums.
Frank announced, "This next song's something
Joe's been messing around. It features Joe & Bart on
guitars, Jason on bass & Eric on snare drum. Play
Eric played a country western beat on the snare
drum using brushes, then Jason joined in, then Bart
played rhythm & Joe played lead. Then Joe strummed &
"My motorcycle's like my horse,
I mount up & drive of course.
Don't rope a bull or live on a ranch,
Or be in a showdown with my stance.
I live in Philly, a town I enjoy,
You can call me, the City Cowboy!"
Joe plays a super guitar solo. Then he lets Bart
play his guitar solo. Then Jason pops a bass solo &
Eric got to play a solo on the snare drum. Then Joe
played alone to put a finish on it & when he strummed
fast, Eric played his tympani drumroll! Fans screamed
over the new song.