JR & TWA; Houston, Texas
Along the streets of Philadelphia, a motorcycle
zooms along the highway speeding. The motorcyclist
then reached its destination of the studio where The
White Angels practice. He got off the bike & entered
the studio, still wearing his helmet.
"Where have you been Eric?" asked Frank, "We got
to rehearse for our Houston concert. And take off the
"Band, get a load of what's under the helmet!"
Eric went over to the tympanis (with helmet still
on) & played a long hard drum roll! Frank went over &
took off his helmet! The band was shocked & thrilled.
"Yes, you're looking @ the new Eric Hunter!" he
said as he stopped drumming, "Check it out! I got a
shorter haircut with spiky curly hair, a moustache & a
goatee beard! And I pumped me up a few muscles!"
Eric took off his shirt & started showing off his
new muscles like a bodybuilder.
"You look great!" said Victoria, "Did you get the
idea from Will Friedle in his H E Double Hockey Sticks
Eric nodded, then went to his drums & played a
swishy beat on the snare drum with brushes.
"Play H E Double Hockey Sticks, Joe!" said Eric
playing. So Joe humored Eric by messing on his
electric guitar playing a fast solo, rhythm riff.
October 2 (my birthday) I was watching local talk
show, Debbie Hines while having breakfast. Her guests
included Phoebe & Matt Roman along with The White
Angels. Phoebe & Matt got to sing (with Matt playing
guitar), then got interviewed. Matt mentioned he
wants to quit being a rock star & be a music producer,
that made me cry like Lucy!
"Quit your Lucy crying Larry!" snapped Debbie to
The White Angels were interviewed next. There
was little space for their instruments, so they showed
a music video instead.
DEBBIE: Eric, you look like a hottie!
ERIC: Thanks, this will get the band popular & the
DEBBIE: Your concert was scheduled for August, but
Hurricane Beverly had other plans.
FRANK: Our manager, Ray Walters, got a telegram from
Pacific Records on our Dallas stop. Sorry to
hear Beverly hit your city.
DEBBIE: All the band members are now married, but
your music keeps you popular. How did you
JOE: Frank lived in Philly after doing a cruise ship
gig & discovered all his band members one by one
FRED: I came from San Antonio & heard about my
cousin's success as a vibist. So I packed my
marimba & motorcycle, headed to Philly & won
VICTORIA: I played trumpet since high school. I
played in a beach pageant. Even though I
lost, I won a spot in the band & a
husband (kissing Frank).
DEBBIE: My favorite tune's Tropical Breezes. Who
BEN: Fred & I. It's the only song that features us
playing the vibes & marimba. We each solo on
instruments, I play marimba with Fred, switch
instruments & Fred plays the vibes with me. On
other songs, we write our own arrangements &
DEBBIE: I also heard Ralph's leaving.
RALPH: This is my last concert. I'm moving to
Anaheim to be a stadium organist for the
DEBBIE: I think Bart looks hot on this pic of Black
Jazz Magazine. How often do you play the
BART: A few songs. But Joe lets me play a guitar
solo, I also sing one song.
DEBBIE: That's great. The White Angels @ Compact
Central along with Matt & Phoebe Roman, 7:00
I was excited! Couldn't wait to see them again
like I did @ Dallas.
That afternoon, I caught the 25 Northline going
to Compact Central to see the concert. Unfortunately,
a car cut in front of the bus to make a pit stop @
Burger Queen causing the bus to come to a screeching
halt! I hit my head very hard & was unconscious
laying on the floor of the bus.
The next thing that happened, I woke up & found
myself in a hospital bedroom. So I grabbed the button
& called the nurse saying,
"Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard!"
Along with a nurse, three doctors rushed into the
room. I asked what happened & that the last thing I
remembered was going to the concert on the bus until
"You're OK." said Dr. Fine, "You almost had a Rip
Van Winkle nap. You've slept for 15 years!"
"15 years?!" I cried, "I gotta get out of here!"
"But we still have to examine you." said Dr.
"No way!" I said as I escaped!
They chased me all around the hospital & luckily,
I ditched inside a janitor's room with an outfit. So
I wore the outfit & walked normally out of the
hospital. I found out that the city now has a light
rail system. So I went to the one place I would get
answers, the library. Even that changed, they had a
video internet service that accessed any information
for $5 an hour. Once I found an open booth, I placed
some headphones on, typed in The White Angels & found
a great website. The video started with highlights of
their concerts. Then the main menu came up & I
accessed "Where Are They Now?" & up came a menu of all
the current & future band members. I didn't bother
clicking the future members. So I clicked on Joe.
The video showed Joe Roman headlining a Las Vegas
hotel. Joe grew a full beard & was singing with the
band holding a mike in his hand. Sometimes, Joe would
grab his electric guitar to play with the band & sing
on some songs. Joe was still a super guitarist.
Next I clicked Frank & he was the manager of The
Scott Roman Band. His son, Michael sang & played
trumpet while Scott played guitar & sang.
Then I clicked Ben. Ben's now a high school jazz
band director & not only did he conduct, he also
played the vibes. He even had a student that also
played vibes that they would play a vibes duet.
Next I clicked Fred. Fred & his family returned
to San Antonio where he worked in a 9-5 job downtown.
Occasionally, Fred would play the marimba in a
Next I clicked Jason. Jason worked as a music
producer of Pacific Records helping out new talent.
Jason would sometimes sit in on bass.
Next I clicked Bart. Bart's the only other White
Angel who had a solo career. Bart gave up the sax &
only played the guitar. Sometimes Bart would sing,
but girls liked his body.
Next I clicked Ralph. Ralph worked @ a
piano-organ store by day & by night, he still played
organ for The Mighty Ducks hockey games.
Next I clicked Victoria. Victoria gave up her
trumpet to be a music lawyer. She helped her son
Michael, get gigs for his band.
Then I was afraid to click on Eric, but I did.
Eric Hunter's an actor/bodybuilder/musician. Eric's
1st movie had him play a musclebound surfer dude
wearing Guts whether he surfed, attracted babes with
his killer body or playing the drums/tympani. He
later did a series of movies being a motorcycle super
agent. His son, Derek, would be a teen bodybuilder
who also played drums & tympani.
When I left the library, across the street there
was a concert performed by The Scott Roman Band. Like
father, like son, Scott had a hottie build, a strong
singing voice & a super guitarist, playing his Dad's
Washborn. After soloing, Scott let Michael play a
trumpet solo followed by DC's vibes solo. I was
enjoying the next generation of White Angels until the
police & doctors grabbed me & carried me away.
"I wanna see The White Angels' kids!" I yelled,
"There's nothing wrong with me, nothing! Leave me
Then suddenly, I woke up @ Burger Queen
murmuring, "White Angels."
"Don't worry son." said a paramedic, "You're OK.
Your not going to see any angels anytime soon."
"What happened?" I asked. I learned that I was
OK after all. The driver of the car was arrested &
taken to traffic court. Then, a security guard on a
motorcycle asked me if I wanted a lift to the concert.
I didn't think it would be Joey Lawrence again after
the Minnesota story. So I drove off with him. When
arriving @ Compact Central, it turned out to be Ben
Hours before the concert, I got to watch them do
sound check. It was pretty cool watching them again
just like Dallas. Matt even did sound check playing
his red guitar & singing. Afterwards,
"I'm gonna miss being a rock star." said Matt.
"You can't mean that?" I pleaded.
"Grow up, Larry!" yelled Matt, "This is my last
"Fine!" I yelled, "I don't need a backstage pass,
I'll sit where peasants belong, in the balcony!"
So I handed my pass back & walked away from the
stage. Went to drown my sorrows with an orange snow
cone bought @ a concession stand. Then I mounted up
the stairs & went to find a seat in the balcony. I
founded a booth & there were two old ladies playing
"May I sit with you?" I asked.
"Do you play?" asked an old lady as I nodded.
"Be our guest." said the other lady. So for an
hour, we played gin rummy.
"We're only passing the time away until the show
comes on. Then we'll heckle it!" (Laughing)
"Great, a female Statler & Waldorf!" I
"I'm Rodeway & she's Ramada." she said, "Your
fanfic audience are probably skunks."
"Your stories stink!" said Ramada, both laughing!
Then Rodeway cried "Gin!". They beated me badly!
At the Houston concert, Matt & Phoebe Dee were
going @ it. Girls were screaming over Matt's music,
especially when he & Joe did Motorcycle Brothers.
"More like Tricycle Brothers." heckled Rodeway,
After the song, Matt said,
"Now that the concert tour's over, I've decided
to quit singing & playing music to be a full time
producer. So this is the last song I'll ever sing."
The girls & I all cried like Lucy! Matt played
guitar & sang solo for the last time as we all cried
over Matt's swan song.
Then as Matt left the stage, Joe gave him an
off-stage hug to comfort him.
When The White Angels performed, Rodeway & Ramada
went wild seeing Joe doing a guitar solo. But the
girls screamed over Eric's new look when he played a
tympani solo. During the middle of the concert, Ralph
"This is also my swan song. I'm leaving the band
to be the stadium organist for The Mighty Ducks."
Ralph got to play an organ solo & started singing
his swan song.
About two songs from the end of the concert,
security guards escorted me off the balcony as Rodeway
& Ramada didn't care.
"There goes the pest!" quipped Ramada, "I bet
they'll spray him with Raid!" (both laughing)
I was escorted to the band's dressing room where
Matt & Pheobe were waiting. Phoebe carried a big box
& placed it on the table. The box had a #45 tag on
"Happy birthday Larry." said Matt, "Open up the
I was expecting a birthday card, but instead it
read "$764". Matt got to his wallet & handed me $764
"Now you can either keep the money or give it
back for the contents of this box. Could be something
cool, could be a Klunk, could be $25,000! What do you
want to do Larry?" asked Matt.
"Great, a Treasure Hunt sketch!" I groaned, "I'm
the wrong sex to play this game show."
"You wrote it, just go along with it." said Matt.
So I gave $764 back to Matt for the contents of
the box. So Matt opened the box & out popped a
cartoon dog. It was Brian, the talking dog from the
Emmy winning cartoon series, Family Guy!
"It's hot in that box," complained Brian, "Hope
I'm getting paid for appearing in this fanfic or I'll
sue." Then Brian grabbed two cupcakes & told me to
come closer to the box. Then Brian sang,
"Happy birthday to you,
You belong in a zoo.
You smell like a skunk,
So you'll get a Klunk!"
Brian took the cupcakes & splatted them on my
face. Then he got a bag of cat food & handed that to
me. The famous funky "KLUNK" music was heard as the
"That's right Larry, you got Klunked on your
birthday! The value of Brian's fee along with the
cupcakes & cat food..." music stops as he says in low
"Hey!" complained Brian, "I'm worth more than
that just like this RUBBER CHECK FOR $25,000!"
Brian handed me the worthless check as the
"KLUNK" music resumed & the announcer said,
"Enjoy your worthless check, valued..." music
stops, "Are you kidding? You'll go to jail!"
Brian got out of the box as the Treasure Hunt
commercial cue played & headed to find a tree. But he
used the gentlemen's room instead. I was crying like
Lucy because I got Klunked on my birthday!
"You want more to cry about!" snapped Matt,
"Let's go next door!"
Matt grabbed me by the ear & threw me next door.
And next door was the band that threw a surprise party
for me along with Ralph's going away party. We has
cake & ice cream.
Five minutes later, Matt & Brian surprised me
with a song as they sang (with Matt on guitar) a song
sung to the tune of "I Love Lucy".
MATT: Happy birthday, you'll have a ball.
There's no pigeons in Larry J.'s hall.
BRIAN: I don't have fleas or ticks.
When I read one of his fanfics.
MATT: He writes stories for Lawrence fans.
And he ends up with dish pan hands.
BRIAN: From Ingo, David & Lori...
BOTH: Have a happy,
Yes have a happy old
The band applauded as I hugged Matt & Brian
licked me on the face. Matt asked me to take a
picture with him & Brian as a souviner. After taking
the picture, Matt apologized for his behavior & said,
"There's one more souviner I want you to have
that was in the box. Actually, it's from the band as
a birthday gift. Hope you like owning Ben Sanders'
The curtain opened as the vibes revealed. Then
spightly music was heard as the announcer said,
"Happy Birthday Larry! You've won Ben Stein's, I
mean, Ben Sander's vibes! This musical instrument has
37 silver bars, a motor controller with fan speed &
adjustable dampening, swivel pedal. Comes with two
pairs of mallets, all made by Emerald Percussion! The
retail value of this very cool sounding instrument..."
music stops, "$2,495.00!"
I hugged Matt, Brian, Joe, Ben & the rest of the
band as the Treasure Hunt commercial cue really
As for the concert tour, Pacific Records made a
total of $24,000,000! Each band member + Matt &
Phoebe made $1,000,000 each.
While my vibes were being loaded into a moving
truck, I saw Brian wearing a suit & tie, a derby &
sporting a beard. So I went along with the gag
"Will you verify the fact that you did hide that
check for $25,000?"
"No I didn't!" he said.
Suddenly, a puff of smoke happened & who should
"I had the check all along! It's for ladies
only, you twit!"
You guessed it, from my game show webpage, The
Game Show Witch!
"I wanna appear in a fanfic so I can scare the
crap out of you! I'll make sure Treasure Chest/We
Hate Men! Hour returns to tv & wins another Daytime
Emmy. Don't get in my way, just try! I'll get you my
pretty & that stupid little talking dog too!
Then Brian started doing his business on her &
she started screaming,
"I'm melting! How could you do this to a stupid
I thanked Brian & told him he could be in my
"Only for a limited time, Larry." said Brian.
It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship!